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Finding your way after leaving the cult of Scientology

A Story for Those Flying Under the Radar. . .

Another independent surfaces after years of flying under the radar. She is enjoying her new freedom immensely. You have been enjoying her stories written under her pen name of Felicia Farnsworth and today you will hear the rest of her story. ~David St Lawrence

Kathy Elliot

By “Felicia Farnsworth”

My Dear Ones,

I know that there are many of you reading this who are flying under the radar.

That is, you’ve “left” the church but no one knows about it and you are successfully avoiding detection.

I, too, have been doing that for over 4 years.

I was on lines at LA Org from late 1996 until the basics came out in the summer of 2007.

Ever since I had discovered Scientology in 1970 and had experienced a tremendous win delivering Op Pro by Dup to my twin on the HQS Course, I had wanted nothing more than to become a trained auditor and to spend the rest of my days helping others to live better, happier lives.

In 1996, I received an inheritance and plunked down $35,000 for my training package at LA Org.

I felt so fortunate – at the time – that the Golden Age of Tech had just been released and that I was going to benefit from this wonderful new training lineup.

I eagerly started on the Student Hat and for the next 11 years I attended course in the LA Org Academy EVERY weekend, only taking a break to go for an “OT Debug” on the Freewinds.

You would think that I should have made it out the other end as a fully trained Class V auditor after 11 years of training but, sadly, no.

Maybe on the “old” course checksheets this would have been the happy result but not so with the Golden Age of Tech.

After 11 years of struggling, I had had enough. I routed myself to Qual and demanded a study debug session. This was duly delivered and I handled all of the upsets and frustrations that had piled up in the past decade of training. It felt GREAT!!!

I originated that I wanted to do the Book One course in Div 6 and just audit people without all the complications of an emeter, etc. until I had certainty that I could do this one simple action.

It was while I was happily studying in Div 6 that the Basics came out.

I had to start the Book One course all over using the new book, and of course I had to pay for the new course since the old one was no longer valid. I protested but no one wanted to hear it.

I completed this course and was ready to return to my Academy training.

Whoa, Speedy! Not so fast!

I was informed that I would have to do ALL the Book Courses for ALL the books that been on my Academy Level checksheets. And, of course, I would have to pay for these courses.

I grimly bit the bullet, flew through the courses and was finally ready to resume training.

Ha! Dream on, Grasshopper.

The course supervisor and the D of T now informed me that I had to do all the rest of the book courses before I could restart my auditor training.

I protested, but to no avail. I was told that I really needed to do these courses in order to become a really good auditor. It was pure, unadulterated BULLSHIT. I stood there, looking at these two men and I just couldn’t believe what they were saying. And I KNEW THAT THEY DIDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! They had become nothing more than puppets, mouthing the words of someone else in order to sell more courses.

At this point, I was DONE with LA Org. DONE. DONE. DONE.

And, looking back, I think this was the turning point for me. I realized that it was all about money and had nothing to do with creating auditors. I decided then and there to leave and never come back, but I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

I knew that I couldn’t just walk away from the church. I knew they wouldn’t “let” me. I knew that I would be hounded and possibly even declared if I didn’t keep signing up for the next course and the next course and the next course . . . .

So I negotiated to have them let me transfer to the newly-formed Inglewood org which was only 10 miles from my home instead of 25 miles like LA Org was.

I quietly disappeared from LA org and started on my next book course at Inglewood org, a tiny little org in a dingy storefront space. The carpet was dirty and torn and the “walls” separating the course room from the rest of the org were only black curtains hung on flimsy metal poles.

After completing the next book course, I told the reg that I really wanted to do the Personal Efficiency course. No one at Inglewood Org cared what I did as long as I kept being a stat-producing student and income source for their org. The last thing they wanted was for me to go back to LA Org. And by this time, LA Org had forgotten about me, assuming that I was still on the basic courses.

Just as I was completing the PE course, a whole “new” Book One course and DVD were released. I ran my eye over the checksheet for this new course and saw my “out”. At the end of the checksheet for the course was an “internship”. The newly graduated student was required to go out into the field and audit Book One on raw public for 6 months, after which time he was supposed to return and attest that he could audit the process with certainty.

I went through all the motions, got through the course, made everybody super happy with yet another completion and left to do my 6-month internship.

The time passed. I wasn’t missed. I’d done it. Escaped. And no stigma attached to my “leaving”.

Eventually the OES at LA Org called me to see what was happening. She wanted me to come back and complete my training. I sadly told her that my eyesight had gotten so bad that I could no longer read an emeter. This was a blatant lie but because I am “elderly” and because I had maintained my credibility with everyone, this statement wasn’t questioned.

She then tried to sell me something. I told her that I had no money and that all my credit cards were in collection. This was true. I had overextended myself when I had been pressured to buy the Congresses and the Basics. Then the economy had crashed and my job had gone up in smoke.

That was the end of that.

No more calls.

I was out of the church and flying under the radar.

BUT . . . I was still somehow a part of it.

After 40 years (including 3 years in the SO), it was impossible to stop being part of it.

I was saddened that I was no longer to be an active part of this group that I had supported and loved for so many years. I missed the friends I’d made while on course for all those years.

Then, on Nov 10, 2010, someone sent me a copy of Luis Garcia’s 27 page letter which he wrote to David Miscavige declaring him a “full-blown suppressive person” and in which he states, “. . . I am hereby resigning from the Church of Scientology, because you have managed to hijack it and have turned it into a squirrel group.”

At first I was in shock. Here was this OT VIII, extremely upstat Scientologist, attacking DM.

But in his letter, Luis presented his case against DM very sanely, complete with specific LRH policy and how DM had grossly violated that policy. Everything he said made sense and aligned with what I had observed for myself since 1996.

I started to “lurk” around the internet sites created by the independent Scientologists.

I discovered the blogsites of Marty Rathbun, Mike Rinder and David St. Lawrence.

I bought and read all of Marty’s books. Having been in the SO, I knew what Marty was talking about and I felt he was telling the truth. I too had left the SO because of the utter suppressiveness and insanity of it.

Also, a good friend of mine had been uplines and had observed first hand a lot of what Marty writes about.

I had known David St. Lawrence personally when he had run the mission in Redondo Beach. I admired and trusted David. I knew he really cared about helping people and that he wouldn’t have just walked away from the church unless there was a valid reason for doing so.

I felt like I had found a new group of friendly people whose intentions and purposes aligned with mine regarding spiritual freedom.

I still lurked.

I had to.

I had my own business and one of my main clients was a devoted Scientologist who was very active in the church. And he and his family were my good friends. I didn’t want to lose this friendship or the income from the business he brought me.

So for 4 years – from Nov 2010 to Nov 2014 – I have been in the closet, not telling anyone that I have left the church.

In Aug 2012 I took my first step to being an active “Indie”. I got in comm with Trey Lotz, an Indie field auditor, and asked him to send me the forms I needed to fill out so that I could get auditing from him.

It took almost another two years to screw up enough courage to actually go and received a session from Trey, a declared “SP”.

Wow! What an experience! No stops. No hassles. No pressure. Just pure theta and high ARC and tech being correctly applied. It was amazing!

But Trey was located in LA and I had moved out the area. I couldn’t keep traveling up to LA every time I wanted a session. It was over 100 miles each way.

I had read David St. Lawrence’s blogsite and knew that he delivered sessions via the internet. I got in comm with him and asked him how that worked and he explained it to me.

On May 13 2014 I had my first session with David and it, too, was amazing. Very theta. Fun. Relaxed. We laughed a lot.

David then asked me to write articles for his blogsite. He said that I could help many people by relating, in a humorous way, my experiences as both a public student and as a sea org member. He said that too many people were holding onto their upsets with the church and that I could help them to see the funny side of this whole mess.

I started to write these stories under the pseudonym of Felicia Farnsworth. I had to be VERY careful about how much I revealed in my stories so that no one connected to the church would know who I was. I kept the stories light and silly. I’ve always preferred comedy to soap opera! Writing about my experiences in this way proved to very therapeutic for me. I heartily recommend it to all of you.

However, I was still flying under the radar and it bothered me that I was being completely two-faced. My Scientology friend/client believed me to be a Scientologist in good standing and here I was, secretly ridiculing the church under a cloak of invisibility.

Then my friend started serious progress on his bridge. This included hours and hours of objectives, even though he had completed his objectives years ago. I knew from my training that this was horribly wrong.

My friend then went to Flag to get super power, and I could tell from his evasive answers to my questions about this cycle that he was not happy with the results.

I felt like I was betraying him by not telling him where I stood and why. It was like watching someone drown while you are holding a life preserver in your hands. He may not want the life preserver but he should at least have it thrown to him.

Finally, I was working on a project for him – writing up hats for every post in his organization – and things came to a head. Since his company is a WISE company, this meant plowing through the OEC volumes to get references for the hat checksheets. I was no longer in agreement with all the policy that LRH had written since I had seen how destructively it had been used by everyone in order to control people. I knew it was going to be used that way in the future. I hated the project and I hated myself.

My personal integrity was at a new low.

I got sicker than a damn dog. And I hadn’t been sick in years.

I had to do something!

I wrote a letter to my Scientology friend, telling him exactly where I stood regarding the church. It was a very caring letter in which I told him of my concern for his financial and spiritual well-being as long as he was connected to the church. I included a copy of Luis Garcia’s letter, hoping this would open his eyes.

I also told him that I knew he would have to disconnect from me once the church knew of my position and that I would understand.

Once I had sent this, I felt such tremendous relief!

Now I didn’t have to hide anymore. Now I didn’t have to be careful about what I said in my blogs for David.

I was free – truly free – at last!

Free to fly ABOVE the radar!!!


happy childSo who is Felicia Farnsworth?

Hi, everybody – it’s me – Kathy Elliott!

Number of views:8525

A change will do you good – an article by Chris Shelton

Chris Shelton has been out of the church of Scientology since late 2013 and has been writing thought-inspiring articles since then in his capacity of Critical Thinker at Large. He is one of the new generation of independent thinkers I would like to hear more from while he still has the desire to tell what he learned from his time in Scientology.

It is almost impossible to keep writing about church insanity after a while because those of us who have done it for a few years begin to develop other interests and move on to other areas of endeavor. I encourage those of you who would like to tell what you have learned from your time in Scientology to send me articles as there is a continuing demand for stories and some of us older writers are beginning to run out of material and want to get on with our lives.

Now, let us hear from Chris Shelton:

  Chris Shelton article 18 Oct 2014“Progress is impossible without change,and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” – George Bernard ShawLooking at the ex-Scientology community, the blogs and video channels and Facebook groups, I would say that I have put out my fair share of articles and videos about the abuses and darker sides of the Scientology experience.Frankly, there has been so much to say that I haven’t yet suffered from anything like writer’s block. Scientology is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to oppression, deception and abuse.But there is a point to all this and it’s not just to be a critic for the rest of my life. These articles and the videos I make are a form of catharsis and as much as I’m informing and helping others, I’ve also been helping myself.Given that my life is about to take a dramatic turn for the better, with yet another huge change taking place right now as I write this, I thought I’d take a few moments to talk about how my life has changed for the better since I left Scientology last year.It can’t really be said enough, so let me start off by again saying that life is so much better now that I’m not a Scientologist. I’m writing this for those who may have also recently (or not so recently) come out of a cult-like environment. Maybe my experiences with this can help you too.
Number of views:8525

You think this might be too good to be true?

A reader sent me this ad from the Razzline today and I thought I had fallen into an alternate universe!

Here is a mission (Life Enhancement Center) that claims it is doing so well it is paying staff $1000 to $2000 a week!

South Coast MissionPublication Date: 23 Sep 14

26981 Vista Terrace Suite A

Lake Forest, California 92630

Looking to hire D/ED, Executives, Ethics Officer, Qual Sec, Purif IC!! Can make between $1000-$2000 per week!!! Call Us
Contact Name: Sean Dernehl
Contact Phone: 949-297-4446
E-mail: info@southcoastmission.com

Looking for great people to work at South Coast Mission!! We pay $1000-$2000 per week and you get Bridge and auditor and admin training to Class 8 totally free!!!!

Willing to train for Administrative Posts and Tech posts! No experience needed! We just need you to be motivated and a hard worker!

Previous training is always a plus!

Looking for motivated people to take on the follow!!!

Available positions are:


Number of views:20093

Branding your practice is more vital than you can possibly imagine

brand-design-webWhat is a Brand?
A brand is more than a symbol or a name.

It is fundamentally a promise to deliver something of value that is different from any other product or service.
The symbol or name stands for the quality of what is to be delivered.

The brand is what distinguishes a product from a somewhat similar product. The brand marks the product as different from other products because is has a unique set of characteristics and qualities.

Take the simple hamburger, for example, which generally consists of meat and other things between two buns. The following brand names deliver quite different hamburger experiences: McDonalds, Wendys, In-N-Out Burger, Five Guys, Red Robin, and Hardees.

Once you have tried all of them, you probably settled on one brand and have stuck to it ever since. You know what you are going to get when you order your favorite brand.

What about auditing or counseling in the field? What distinguishes your counseling from everyone else’s counseling? Do you have a brand name that distinguishes your service from every other service that is being offered today?

There are a number of independent counselors who have successful practices and they have created brand images like Life Enhancement Center or Life Improvement Center.
Robert Duscharme’s Clearing Technology is a well known brand in the independent field as is Hank Levin’s Clearing Technology.

There are others in the field like Dexter Gelfand and Trey Lotz who have established themselves as personal brands. People choose them because they consistently deliver unique high quality services.

In my practice, I brand what I deliver and teach as Spiritual Rescue Technology, so there is no doubt what it deals with and what results it delivers.


Number of views:19582

Current State of Affairs in the Field – by Per Schiottz

Per Schiottz is a highly respected auditor who has been contributing articles and comments to independent websites for many, many years. In this article, he has some good advice for those who are still stuck in their Scientology experience even after years apart from the church. If you know of someone who is still in this state, send them this article and it might help them to break free of the malign influence of Scientology, Inc.



Today, 30 years after I left The Church of Scientology, The Sea Org as NOTS Lead Auditor at the AOEU in Copenhagen, Denmark, in the condition of Kha-Khan awarded by Ron, I feel it’s time to address the current state of affairs.


The moaning and the groaning

This is because so many years after I left,I still hear people who left at the same time, moaning and groaning about all the bad things they experienced in Scientology and others who condemn the “FreeZone” saying it’s squirrel and not Ron’s tech etc etc.. I think, that now, 30 years later, some persons need to put all that behind them and snap into the present and get on with life and livingness and help others along too, if they want to!



Live in the past, and you won’t last,

Live in the future, you’ll have no future.

Live in the now, you have the know-how!


Number of views:16261

Did you ever get the idea that Spiritual Rescue Technology was a one shot deal?

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-freedom-d-render-shadow-man-acsending-to-sun-ocean-red-cloudy-sunset-image30582004Did I somehow create the impression that Spiritual Rescue Technology (SRT) was a one shot deal? I did not intend that, but anything is possible.

SRT is a spiritual tool that you should go on using forever, not just once.
It’s free, once you learn how to use it, so for continuing peace of mind and spiritual growth, you should use it every day for best results.

There are an infinite number of active spiritual beings on this planet alone. There are probably 100 infinities of beings who are sleeping or completely unconscious who can spring into action when the right stimulus occurs.

You are constantly surrounded and infiltrated by disembodied spiritual entities so you had better get used to the idea of managing them instead of ignoring them or hiding from them.

If you were exposed to the Scientology OT levels, you were made to understand that with the completion of each level you were pure and fearless and FREE from entities and corruption of all kinds. Sorry! But that was a lie for marketing purposes. The Founder himself, Ron Hubbard, was still battling entities in the final weeks of his life because he chose them as opponents instead of making friends with them.

You can measure a person’s chances of success by whether he seeks opponents in life or seeks to partner with others. Entities are just like those of us with bodies, except they have had some experiences which prevent them from acquiring bodies and playing the game of life.

If you antagonize, irritate, ignore, or invalidate the entities in your vicinity, do not be surprised when your plans do not work out and your life feels like crap. You have caused your entities to have counter intention to your plans and they outnumber you!


Number of views:28055

Scientology Indoctrination is Hypnotism

LRH Close upScientology indoctrination is hypnotism of the worst kind

The disintegration of the cult of Scientology will not free those who have been hypnotized by the skillful indoctrination that Ron Hubbard used to put people under his control and make them resist any recovery from that state.

I have been aware for some time that there were unknown forces preventing some people from observing and absorbing any new data. A recent article by Marty Rathbun shows that others are recognizing what we have been writing about for some time.

Deconstructing Scientology
Posted on September 13, 2014 by martyrathbun09

This is an excerpt from an upcoming book with the working title ‘Deconstructing Scientology.’  It is directed toward those who are considering the possibility of dipping a toe into dianetics or scientology study or participation.  My failures over the past three years in attempting to help former members graduate from the subject informed a whole new line of research into some of the darker arts that L. Ron Hubbard mastered to make people so apparently incapable/unwilling to learn.  


The most diabolically effective form of hypnotism would probably thoroughly convince the subject that it was impossible to hypnotize him.  It seems that only in that case could the idea be implanted that no awakening and de-hypnotism would ever be desirable or even possible. It would inculcate the opposite of the old adage applicable to any reform, or even education, activity that the first step to recovery or learning is the recognition that there is something to recover from or to learn.  If you were thoroughly convinced that you were more awake than virtually all of humanity, there is no chance that anyone could convince you to possibly take a look at waking up.


Number of views:28880

Workable Spiritual Technology – decline and resurrection

This post was first published over a year ago but the message is still current so I am bringing it to the attention of new readers who may not have seen it the first time around.

Priest-movieWorkable spiritual technology is that part of the entire spectrum of spiritual technology that has been tested by auditors/spiritual practitioners in the field and has been found to produce reliable results.  So much of this has been lost or obscured in recent years that it is hard to find auditors who are familiar with the original work.

Spiritual technology has a long history and Scientology had a short phase between 1950 and 1965 when spiritual activity was actively supported by church management. After that the focus within the church seemed to shift to control of parishioner thoughts and actions. Like many religions before it, the Church of Scientology buried the effective actions that helped people and pushed the grand and glorious vision of great cathedrals and mighty works that would bedazzle the multitudes and bring in money.

As a result of this shift in emphasis, we now have the situation where Scientology’s International Management is awash in corruption, perversion and financial irregularities on every hand, much like the Vatican which is the central governing body of the Catholic Church,

There are still useful spiritual resources in the Church of Scientology, but they are as diminished as the Exorcists in the Catholic Church, mere vestiges of a former glory.  According to this story on christianpost.com, priests currently need special approval from their bishop to perform the rite of exorcism and it is rarely granted. Well, to be fair, access to Scientology’s rite of exorcism, the OT Levels, is rarely granted either.

The workable spiritual technology originally developed by Ron Hubbard, David Mayo, Alan Walters and may other professional auditors was altered over the years by arbitrary decisions until it has become a mockery of what it once was.


Number of views:38257

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