Possibly Helpful Advice


Including what we found in Scientology before it became a cult
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What? No ostentation? No posturing? No pretense?

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The above is four…yes four…postcards I’ve received over the past four months from a company that’s opened a new fitness center in my town.

From what I can tell, everyone in my zip code got four of these, too.

That means that Chuze fitness has spent about $7.50 on just me to let me know they’re in my neighborhood.

They’ve spent $200,000 to give everyone in my zip code four mailings.

And it happened starting the day they opened, not a year or two later like at Miscavige’s Idle Orgs.

There wasn’t any parking-lot cheering crowd. No videographers. No ostentation. No pompous self-adulation.

I’m not even a prospect for their services.

Yet I’ve been reminded four times that they’re there.

Is there any chance that the Portland Org Grand Opening cost more than $200,000? Including the permits and plant rentals? Including rent-a-cops and rent-a-thugs?

A place like the Phoenix Org could have already done a 4x mailing to their local area with the money Miscavige wasted on a grand opening ceremony. They wouldn’t still be waiting to get the word out a year later. (Long-time Scientologists will recognize that Wait is low on the Expanded Know-to-Mystery Scale.)

Did you look at one of the latest “non-existence” promos from the Phoenix Org?

It’s got a picture of a Non-E bus in it:

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Other “non-e” promos have had pictures of a billboard in them.

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The bus picture just makes me groan. Somehow, Scientology Inc thinks that people look at buses in places like Phoenix, or Pasadena, or Las Vegas. Did they check? Did they survey to make sure that a message on a bus has any penetration or lasting value?

I know people who live in Phoenix, which is a city that is dominated by people in cars anxiously getting from place to place, while being frustrated at the amount of traffic. If a driver in Phoenix gets behind a bus, he doesn’t spend time reading the small print on the bus. He spends time cursing the fact that he’s stuck behind a bus while trying to get around the bus. So the messages on the bus aren’t meant for him. Since people riding the bus aren’t reading the bus, the messages on the bus can’t be meant for them, either. So who in Phoenix is supposed to be reading this bus?

When I look at the sample bus, the first thing I say to myself is: What about this bus would compel me to go into this place? Or even find it on a map? You know, the Cincinnati Org that’s in Kentucky? It doesn’t even follow LRH’s checklist of what is required of an ad in HCO PL 26 September 1979 III: COPYWRITING What is this service? How valuable is it? What does it do? How easy would it be for me to do it? How much does it cost? How do I get it? Where?

The billboard doesn’t even tell you where to get it. You have to go to a website whose URL you have to remember until you get home. But you’re not going to remember it, because there’s not one single compelling reason from the billboard to remember anything about it.

It’s bad that the an Idle Org’s first-year promotional budget isn’t included in the fund raising.

It’s worse that the way funds are raised for the first-year promotional budget entails selling things people don’t want.

And it’s disastrous that the first-year promotional campaign is one that is totally unsurveyed and guaranteed to be ineffective.

Scientology’s lazy gene strikes again!

— written by Plain Old Thetan

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