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Meet Miscavige’s Gulli-belles

This promo piece came out this week from the Los Angeles Model Ideal Org.

(As one of our readers notes, a “model” is a miniaturized version of a larger prototype.)

The belles in the promo piece claim to have gone Clear while on staff at the Los Angeles Model Ideal Org.

The purpose of the ad is to entice you to join staff so you, too, can go Clear while you’re on staff.

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And it implies that once you have gone Clear, a Universe Corps team will be on post in LA Org so you can go to OT III (minimally).

But, of course, LA Org has to go Saint Hill sized first.

And there’s lots of claims about numbers, but there’s no actual stats. “In greater numbers than ever” could mean “one”, couldn’t it?

Remember that the Factors tell us 27 There is beingness, but man believes there is only becomingness.

Well, LA Org’s “becomingness” of Saint Hill sized has been going on for 17 years.

And official church policy, according to LRH, is “We always deliver what we promise” (HCO PL 21 November 1968 I SENIOR POLICY). In Miscavige’s world, of course, you must add the clause “no matter how much I cross-order it and how long it takes”.

In its inimical style Scientology Inc deletes information from the promo piece that would help you make an informed decision about whether to join staff based on the promo piece.

For example, when you sign a staff contract, you have to sign an auxiliary document that says the recruiter didn’t make you any promises that aren’t specifically in writing in the contract.

The promo piece also doesn’t tell us if the “Clearing” described was delivered by staff auditors, staff staff auditors, or interns.

Or was it provided by Class VI trainees at the oh-so-convenient ASHO next door? (Those guys are always hunting for preclears to fulfill their checksheet requirements.)

The promo piece also doesn’t tell us where these belles were on the Bridge when they joined staff. It’s possible that when they joined staff they were all NED case completions just awaiting their chance to do a CCRD, right?

If they were all Grade IV completions or had finished a number of steps on their NED programs, then the promo piece wouldn’t have the same impact.

Grade IV complete or NED program partly complete are much closer to Clear than “haven’t done my Purif yet”.

After all, if you’re playing football and you consistently take possession of the ball on the opponent’s 30-yard line, your scoring stats will be much better than if you always take possession of the ball on your own 3-yard line.

And the promo piece doesn’t tell us how many times the belles are going to have to re-do Objectives or Purification Rundowns or Grades or OT III or FPRD or whatever.

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So the promo piece is totally misleading on those points.

But what makes the belles gulli-belles is that their future depends on LA Org going Saint Hill sized before their staff contracts expire.

Or is the vague unspecified undependable Miscavige promise of providing a Universe Corps to the belles just one more thing to keep the belles on staff for another 2½ or 5 year stint? Or an indeterminate number of stints?

POSSIBLY HELPFUL ADVICE OF THE WEEK

Before signing an Ideal Org staff contract, write an addendum to your staff contract that says something like this:

1) While on staff, I am guaranteed to be delivered the auditing I need to attain the state of Clear at no charge at a rate of no less than 12 1/2 hours per week.

2) I am guaranteed to be delivered my OT levels at no charge by the Universe Corps even if my staff contract runs out before the Universe Corps shows up.

3) I am guaranteed that I will not be asked for duties in the org exceeding my standard post time.

4) I am guaranteed that I will be given every opportunity to be sessionable while on staff.

If the recruiter won’t sign it, there’s no reason to sign a staff contract.

— written by Plain Old Thetan

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8 Comments

Axiom  on June 11th, 2013

First if anyone knows these gals, I wonder if they could verify that they are in fact Clear. (If the church says it, it must be a lie.)

Second, if they are in fact Clear, did they pay for their own auditing to attain the state of Clear or did they receive the auditing as staff compensation?

Third, maybe these are just models and not even Scientologists.

I was on staff at LA Org and can tell you that the only time I saw staff get audited was if you had a comm line with an auditor and they would take (sneak) you in session when you were not on post. And the org claimed to be St. Hill Size at the time (what a joke).

crane007  on June 11th, 2013

Reading this promo piece made me recall this about the nature of truth and lies:

One year there were 2 teams competing in the Olympics; the USA and Russia.

We beat them.

The Soviet News Agency reported it this way:

Russia came in second and the USA was second to last!

The Renaissance essayist Michel de Montaigne, pondering the opposite of truth:

If falsehood had, like truth, but one face only, we should be upon better terms; for we should then take for certain the contrary to what the liar says: but the reverse of truth has a hundred thousand forms, and a field indefinite, without bound or limit.
Of Liars, 1580

OldAuditor  on June 11th, 2013

The cruelest lie of all is the claim that the Universe Corps is coming.

The last thing I heard from my friends in the Universe Corps was the the Universe Corps was disbanded and the auditors were ripped off for other projects.

Does anyone have any data to the contrary?

D'Anne  on June 11th, 2013

Whew! Thank you for your insight and clarity.

Hapexamendios  on June 11th, 2013

I know the older woman in front – FWIW one of the kindest most genuine people I ever met in Scientology. She was clear when I knew her in the mid-90s. Which means they’re either lying or she went through that clear status revocation nonsense at some point. She did finish the BC a year or so ago according to the newspaper ASHO sends out if that factors into this at all.

I’m a bit surprised to hear them talking about working toward achieving Saint Hill size. I had the impression that goal had been permanently shoved aside for the Ideal Morgue plans. In the 90s all I heard was “We’re going Saint Hill size!” Then it became “We’re going Ideal!”

On a related note with the numbers of Scientologists in the L.A. area how are they NOT Saint Hill sized? That seems a glaring outpoint.

PlainOldThetan  on June 11th, 2013

Hap: Thanks for the info. David and I had speculated that she had been caught in one of Miscavige’s Unclearing sweeps and so it was easy for her to make Clear (again).

Someone must have penetrated Miscavige’s concrete shield of self-righteousness and gotten him to realize that he was running the “Field of Dreams” implant below his awareness. After all, for over ten years he was operating on “if you build it they will come”. So “Saint Hill size” has been reintroduced into the lexicon as a way to tell the people who were gifted with Ideal Orgs what an flaccid inadequate job they’ve been doing.

Dallas’ Idle Orgs (Day & Fdn) have been “trying” to go Saint Hill sized since April 11, 2009. They even have a space designated for the Universe Corps. And those who held 5-year staff contracts are about to have their contracts run out. They’ve been failing at achieving Saint Hill Size consistently for over four years now. (/?p=5747)

Why?

One reason is they’ve been tearing up the staff and public in a “Mouse Hunt” kind of search for SPs. All it’s resulted in is a strangled org, departing staff, and frightened parishioners.

But the big reason is that the definitions of “Saint Hill size” don’t have anything to do with IAS Tours Regges, or huge donations, or whale-sized donors. SHS doesn’t have anything to do with Planetary Dissem Units in each org, or Materials Insultants, or Library Donation Campaigns or RTC inspectors in black SS uniforms interfering with every aspect of an org’s operations.

Saint Hill size had to do with busy staff members producing skilled, winning auditors and well-processed preclears.

But we don’t worry about those things anymore.

Aeolus  on June 12th, 2013

This looks like another in a series of knee-jerk reactions to the conversation here on the Internet. There is a discussion about the lack of promo campaigns and the Church runs a Super Bowl ad, but only in LA, Tampa and New York where the faithful will see it. Then we comment on how the Universe Corps has disappeared along with the game of Saint Hill-sized Orgs, so the game goes back in, but only in a high-profile Org like LA. And you can be sure the payoff will never arrive.

crane007  on June 12th, 2013

There seems to be a certain tolerance for lying, cheating, exagerating, manipulating or sugarcoating the truth withen the CO$. If these ladies want to lend their good looks and their names to any cause; great, but I think it comes with a certain responsibility.

According to the Gospel of Luke: For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more. Luke 12:35-48
New King James Version (NKJV)

What’s required? That the belles check for truth.

Here is “Miss Sarajevo”, belles who plead for peace and truth:

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