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Bruce Pratt’s story

A good friend of mine, Bruce Pratt, has written about his immersion in Scientology and his long delayed return from the Miscavige Experience.

Bruce has always been a strong contributor and he is passionate about adhering to standard tech, so it was not an easy decision for him to look for answers outside the Church of Miscavige.

He summed up his journey to freedom in this way:  I started this leg as a member of the Church of Scientology.   I completed the leg a scientologist.

Here is his story:

Fellow Traveler’s Abridged Journal
(because One Blew from the Cuckoo’s Nest is copyright infringement)

Howdy y’all.  My name is Bruce Pratt and this is my journal of travels upon the road to truth.  Some of this information I have mentioned in bits before, so I apologize to those who have the same buttons on duplicate information.

I became a Scientologist in 1988 at a mission in Redondo Beach where David St Lawrence was the Mission Holder.  It was the beginning of a wonderful, if intermittent, friendship.

I found the mission via the phone book after seeing the tv commercial.  What had happened was I was on an exercise bike, watching tv and feeling sorry for myself.  The now famous commercial came on.

I said to myself, as there was not a soul but me in the apartment, “Great.  Just what the world needs.  Another snake oil salesman.”  Delay while I thought about what I’d just said.  How did I know this was snake oil, after all, I had not read the book.  Problem.

Solution:  Get and read the book, THEN I’D BE AN EXPERT ON AT LEAST THIS SNAKE OIL.  Big failed purpose as you can see, because it did not work out that way at all.

I did the comm course and had a wonderful time.  David was pretty instrumental in making sure I stayed on the rails, a task he never wavered from.  And with his help, I experienced some phenomena for myself that sealed my appreciation for LRH’s work.

I began a long period of contributions to the IAS.  It took me about 20 years to recognize how clever the merchant of chaos can camouflage himself.  I remember being awarded my patron status.  It was in a relatively small room in the Bonaventure Hotel in LA.  Ken Pirak was the MC. Frank Stallone (or David Pomeranz?) was the entertainment — just him seated in a regular old chair and a guitar.  Heber was the person doing the awards.  The year was 1988 or 1989.

I schlepped around, doing a number of activists things, like the Germany PTS handling in 1998, the Berlin Crusade in 98.  I attended most of the Run/Journey Crusades for Human Rights.  I made a few CCHR events both domestic and abroad.  I’d be lying if I did not tell you those were exhilarating times.

I was the last US Patron Meritorious singly awarded at the IAS “regfest” in St Hill.  Oct 2000 I believe it was.

My own personal enhancement began in 2001.  I did my Grades with some wonderful auditors for the most part. High ARC can make up for a world of shortcomings.

A good friend of mine relays a bit of data from LRH where he says the only time he went astray was when he abandoned ARC, the dynamics and the dynamic principle of survival.  My experience bears that out.

I married a wonderful gal in Dec 2002.

Now NED was a different story.  I had a terrible time.  I said so.  I asked for help.  Help was offered, help was sold, but help was not delivered.  Not at my local org, not at Flag. Because it will relate later, during this time I tried to study as well.  One activity I engaged in which be more important later was one way flow theory coached through KSW #1.  Fascinating exercise, but it did not result in GIs.

Meantime, my wife had a challenging stint on staff.  I was proud of her for that.  As a reward, we got a whole bunch of intensives at ASHO.  Due to a number of factors, like lies by the terminals on the reg lines, including Capt ASHOD, as well as one or more org terminals where she had been staff, this was a disaster.  So at this point, both my wife and I are pretty disheartened by the results we’d gotten from the Church as of 2008.

I will add here that when I attended the Basics release at my local org in 2007, my immediate feeling was betrayal.  Something did not make sense, especially the r-factor DM gave at the NewYear’s 2000 event about the project for preservation of the tech being complete being at odds with what I’d just heard.

My wife and I decide and implement a Flag training package for her.  It was our best hope at some standard tech.

She was at Flag, while I remained in California from Mar 2009 on.  Her program was not going well per what it should be according to LRH, but she was winning on her Basics study.  I was willing to take what I could get.

About August, I start thinking about David.  I think it’s Sept when I visit one of his sites.  About Oct, he emails me just touching base as I recall.

In Nov, I have made plans to work remotely to be with my wife in Clearwater.  And this is when I have an email conversation with David that goes about like this:

Me: Life is ok.  Got the wife at Flag training.  She says she’s winning.
David:  I am concerned.
Me:  What the heck are you talking about?
David:  I am concerned for you and your wife.  I understand everything is being run on bypass by DM.  Are you aware of the current sit?
Me:  (some reasonable response)
David:  Bruce, you really should look.  Here’s a link to get you started.  (The link: one of Marty’s Truth Rundown videos.)
Me: There are a number of elements who seek the demise of the church and they don’t care whether it’s done from inside or outside.
David:  Damn it Bruce!  Look!  Here’s another link.  (ok.  That ain’t exactly what David said, but it’s close enough.  This link: possiblyhelpfuladvice.com)

Ok.  I now have one of those moments.  My respect for David leads me to click on Marty’s Video link.  It can’t be 5 seconds into it when Marty says something like “That’s when he lost it.”
Every profane expression I know went through my mind at that point.  Several times with exclamation points.

Another moment of intense reflection.  I recall that course I did which was called “How to Confront and Shatter Suppression”
I guess this is the trial by fire to see if I really got it.  Deep breath.

So I figure a gradient may be in order, so I start with the church’s response.  When I finish, I cannot believe what I just read.  It was the most egregious implementation of Scn I could imagine, at least at that point.

My response after due consideration and much trepidation is to email Marty and try to ask the following question:  Did any church terminals ask you to complete a leaving staff sec check?

Remember I’d done that KSW#1 exercise?  Well, it was important to establish how far off the rails “my church” had gone and this was the metric.  By the way, Marty was very patient with me as it took 5-10 emails to do this.

I write a KR on the RTC web site.  It has a lot of upset in it but it’s not directed at anyone.

Now what?  More research.  Down the rabbit hole of unauthorized biographies of LRH, black PR, squirrels, Dane Tops in addition to the Truth Rundown and more correspondence with David.

About Dec 2009, I managed to put some semblance of order and priority in my universe.  Scared out of my wits, but at least some order had been restored.

Jan 2010, another email to Marty.  “Marty, if I wanted to contribute some energy to you, how would one go about that?”
Marty: “If I can’t do this on my own terms, I will not do it.  I need to maintain exchange.”
Me:   “Yeah, you’re already doing exchange.  I can’t travel the road to truth if it gets torn up.”
Marty:  “You don’t need to do this.  Make sure this is not a hardship or imposition on you.”
Me:  “Not at all.  The amount will be a mystery.  After all we gotta have some game in this.”
Marty:  “Bless you.”

Hey that felt good.  Email to Steve Hall.  “Steve, how do I contribute to your efforts with that web site?”  He honored my request by putting up the paypal button.  I had the privilege of being the first person to click that button.

Now it’s time I meet Dan Koon.  He’d posted his info on Marty’s site and he was local.  Alrighty then.

After meeting Dan the second time, my wife needs to be brought up to speed.  Not because I volunteered the information, she demanded to know.  So I told her what I could as gradiently as possible letting her ask any questions she may have.  We did not see anything remotely in common on the scene.  That was the beginning of the end of our marriage.

I see the DSA Steven’s Creek for some info on the situation.  She asks about the KR I wrote.  She wants to see if I am upset.  I think she had directions to get with me to show me the Church’s materials.
So I see these.  More of the same as far as I can tell — statements and affadavits issued after the fact, little or no evidence of any handling from the time of the various infractions.
I do see where Christie and Mike are in a relationship.  It’s couched in all kinds of allegations and inuendo, but what the heck.  Let me ask Christie; her email is posted as well.

Email to Christie:  “Howdy Christie.  Bruce here.  You don’t know me but…  Say, saw some info on you in a pack at the DSA’s.  Says among other things you and Mike are in a relationship.”
Christie:”Oh, how nice.  I’ve got my own pack.  What did it say?  Yes, Mike and I are together.”
Me:”Oh, you know, you’re morally questionable, member of the grand conspiracy to bring the church down.”
Christie:”Oh, so they’re calling me a slut?”
Me:”Well, not exactly, but they did lay an innuendo on your out 2D behavior.”
Christie:”Thanks.  Want to attend Independent’s Day here?”
Me:”Get back to you on that.”

Anderson Cooper AC 360 airs.  More egregious applications of Scientology by the Every Square Inch Wives’ Club as well as Starkey and Lesevre.

I put my name on the Indie 500, not so much as a declaration of independence but as supporting folks of good will and intention.

Damn.  These are some wonderful people.  Something is really not correct with this situation.  Church calls these people I have either met or corresponded with apostates.
Well, let me understand exactly what an apostate is.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/apostate:  “a person who forsakes his religion, cause, party, etc. ”
That is what I thought.  These people are renouncing neither Scientology nor LRH.  Not even the Church, nor Sea Org really.  This fellow DM is the focus.  Laser precision on him.

Ok.  The Church of Scientology, an organization which is supposed to forward the principles of Scientology which should lead one to travel a route to higher understandings and truths has terminals which are lying.

By now as well, I’ve corresponded with Jim Logan.  He was important to me because 1) he preceeded by almost a decade the current tidal wave of whistleblowers 2) he had every reason I could imagine to actually be a apostate, a Marty hater, a hermit.  Yet here he was, espousing the philosopy and principles of LRH like no one I’d ever encountered.
He was supporting Marty’s efforts.  He was an exemplar of elan vital and not just a fisherman but a fly fisherman.  And he had an incredible sense of humor.

I make a trip to LA — about a 6 hour drive — in response to pleas from my wife to handle this and come back to battery as well as my own due diligence in seeking the truths of the situation.
The game plan going to LA was to get some questions answered.  Yeah, pointed, antagonistic questions, but I was not apologizing.  This game plan was proposed by Patricio, the Student MAA at Flag, and had at least the tacit understanding and approval of the DSA Stevens Creek.
It was the weekend of the LA Model Org event.

When I finally meet Jasmine, who I’ve been told is “the terminal to answer my questions”, she asks me why I am there.  I tell her I’m there to get some questions answered.  She say OK and proceeds to pull out some kind of satchel and we begin.
Here is a declare on Trey Lotz.  Ok.
Here are declare addendum on Marty, Mike, Steve, Dan.  WTF?!  Declare Addendum?  Dated 20 Oct 2009.  Huh?  WTF!?
Me:”There are outpoints in these.”
Jasmine:”They have recourse.”
Me:”They don’t have copies.”
Jasmine:”They have recourse.”
I see where this is going.

I get past the written stacks of golden propaganda.  Jasmine does not have David St Lawrence’s declare in paper so she shows me a scan on her computer.
Well, at least that one had some truth I knew.  Yes he did ask for a refund.  Can’t argue with that.  But geeze, he did not know of his comm ev.

Then the wheelbarrows of policy references, all to enforce one point:”I must disconnect from suppressive people.”  Well, I don’t know that these are suppressive people.
Jasmine says well, you’ve read the declares, so they are suppressive persons.

I go to the motel for the evening and speak to a friend to say it is not going well.  I was lied to.  I think see where it is going, and if I am correct, I’ll be done shortly.

Sure enough the following day, I speak my mind to Jasmine and the DSA.  “I think I see where this is going.  You want me to say I disconnect from these people.  Ain’t happening.  We are done.”
Jasmine asks if I want to follow policy.   I have what seems to me like an incredibly long delay.  This question hits and hits hard.  It’s that study exercise again of KSW #1.  I have a conumdrum which requires immediate action.  I realize that following the policy Jasmine is insisting upon is wrong.  I did not know then, but later I did know why.  It was wrong because 1) it was lower on the admin scale than goals or purposes and 2) it was overriding my power of choice.
So I just replied again “We are done.”  She then asks if I want an interview.  I wish I could communicate my upset that produced.  I repeated my decision that we are done.  Jasmine asks if I am to receive service.  I don’t directly answer her, but let her know that service is available by several folks that have contact information on the internet.

The DSA was in attendance for the entire charade.  She accompanies me to my car.  I explain the facts as I see them that I was looking to see if I’d been lied to by Church terminals and the promised game plan was a lie.  Somebody should have provided me a revision more accurately reflecting their game plan.

She replied that she was not my friend and she did not disagree with what happened.  I said something sort of humorous and then she said she felt better that I’d laughed and that she felt I was in better shape to drive.

I get the heck out of LA, hit the play on the CD and Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” comes on.  Let me tell you that was so, so, accurate to how I saw the situation.  I cried and cried and cried.  I hit replay and cried and cried some more.

From this point, my path was pretty well determined by maintaining my freedom of choice to disconnect or not and my wife’s insistence to disconnect. She and I have petitioned for divorce.  She stopped all communication to me late Jun 2010.  My son and daughter-in-law disconnected.

I email Christie back and say more or less, “Count me in.  Can I bring Jim Logan?”  And that Independent’s Day still brings tears of joy.  A more magnificent bunch of SP’s I had never had the honor and pleasure to meet and mingle with.  That weekend was a century of experience all of which helped sort out truth from fiction on the quagmire of the church.

My wife later resumed communication with me to see if the situation were salvageable, but no.  I did try to work with the DSA again to help sort out the situation.  However, before that really progressed, she “got word on my status” which she relayed to me in just about that manner.
The DSA said she had a trip to LA for some hatting and other cycles and as part of that she should get my status.

Upon her return, she says she would like to meet me and let me read the issue regarding my status after which my only terminal would be the IJC except for divorce matters.  I kid you not.  Thus begins another comedy.

I tell her we don’t need to meet.  She can just send me my declare as that is what I surmise based on the IJC terminal reference.
She replies:”I can show it to you but it is the property of HCO.  It’s not like a KR where you get a copy. ”
Me:”It is an ethics order on me and I am not even on distribution?  What in the world is going on here?   What policy is this based on?”
Her:”No one said you can’t see it,  I will arrange that.  There’s no policy saying I have to give you a copy and since I have no interest in seeing what is Church property on the Internet, that’s my decision.”

Not quite verbatim below.
Me:”Ok, but I want to record the session so there is no misunderstanding.”
Her:”No thanks.”
Me:”I get comm eved apparently without receiving a bill of particulars which is contra every policy I know of.  And an ethics order on me that I am not to receive because it’s property?  No thanks on the whitewash.”
Her:”Your terminal is IJC via CJC.  Sort it out with them.  You need their addresses?”
Me:”Yes, their addresses would be nice to have.”

A month later I still do not have the addresses.

I do have (via circuitous and surreptitious means) a copy of the golden rod – a scant page.

Sometimes I am a slow learner.  I like to think I have and can continue to exercise my axiom 10 to the benefit of myself and those I admire and respect.  Axiom 10 states that the highest purpose in this universe is the creation of an effect.

So to those truly noble and well intentioned individuals working their hearts out still to hold open LRH’s road to truth, I intend to continue my efforts.  Those efforts are at least 3 fold:  1) help with the handle of this incredible travesty of what I believe LRH’s legacy is capable of
2) avail myself of that very legacy now very much alive, flourishing and prospering independent of the formal Church of Scientology and 3) continue to enjoy the relationships of the wonderful, generally high ethic, high spirited individuals I have found in Independent Scientology.  Ah, but those are entries not yet written in my journals.

I am in the San Francisco Area. If you would like to contact me:
General email: [email protected]
Hushmail: [email protected]

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