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Finding your way after leaving the cult of Scientology

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I received this yesterday from the preOT who wrote an OT III success story  on August 14th. — David St Lawrence



I thought I’d give your readers a bit of the ‘back story’ here:

I first matriculated into corporate scientology, this lifetime, on October 15, 1998, when I walked into a Mission, signed up for, and in only a few months completed an array of just about every Div 6 Course available.  My very first two courses were, notably, the ‘Self-Analysis’ and ‘Introduction to Scientology Ethics’ Courses as they then existed.

What happened — no surprise to those of us who know that the unvarnished Tech does, routinely and without need of fanfare, bring about miraculous changes in lives — is that these two exquisitely wonderful “public” courses catapulted me, after less than two months “in” Scientology, into that (invariably temporary but glorious) state which LRH describes in, I think the PDC tapes, of being ‘up the Pole’.

Now, I didn’t know what had happened, and no one at the Mission (which was a large and vibrant Mission — I loved the people and the place as it was then) recognized it either.  But, without exaggerating, I can report that I was “IN action”, I could, and did, talk to anyone about anything, people would start a conversation with me and tell me their entire life’s history without prompting, I could control and ‘persuade’ people to do what I wanted with NO effort whatsoever.  — It makes me laugh to think what I could have accomplished then if I had understood what I was capable of, and, had known how to handle that state. —  I could “see”, literally, a mile or so down the street.  Interestingly, money did not flow to me like honey and the Grade Chart did not open up to me, because, I think, I was persuaded (I postulated, that is) that they were not available.  What this means, basically, is that I got exactly and whatever I postulated and almost immediately.

Boy, was I dangerous.

Not, to honest people, however.

Only to people and organizations who intend to harm, restrict or suppress.

In any event, no one at the Mission recognized, acknowledged or applied the correct handling for this state (which LRH states, if I recall correctly — and I’m happy to be corrected if someone else can report from the Tech volumes — is to acknowledge the fellow, cease all case actions and generally let him or her alone … until, invariably, the Pole Sitter falls off and splats on the pavement, and then pick him up, give him some auditing to get going again and get him or her stably back up to where he, or she, had been.)

So, unaware, unacknowledged and unhanded, I went about my business, feeling marvelous, meeting people, having the time of my life — in short, restimulating all of the stuff that I had done in the distant past track to bring myself down from that glorious position.  And, as I later figured out by reading and studying the Tech myself (no one at any Org or Mission ever assisted me in this, or suggested readings and study to inform me), and as Ron predicts, about 3 1/2 months later, I splatted face first right down to about seventy feet ‘below the ground’.  One day I blacked out on the 210 Freeway in Los Angeles, and my body drove at about 65 mph for what must have been about a mile and a half, whereupon I woke up, somewhat startled that I had not seen the last 90 seconds of my trip.  I continued home, somewhat alarmed, but unharmed and without incident.

After that, I could not sleep for more than an hour a day between about 11pm and 1am.  I could not work.  I could not do much of anything.  I was in a decidedly miserable state.  What the Mission did was to instruct me in how to carry out PAB 6 on my own.  Which was a help, and did have some benefits.  But, no auditing or ethics were applied (and being green, I had no idea (a.) what had happened or (b.) what to do about it) and I struggled for almost a year to keep myself alive, literally, until I met a lovely woman, a Scientologist, who was kind enough to take me to a Scientologist chiropractor.  This very kind Chiropractor, not wanting to alarm me, (laudably) withheld from me (as I later found  out from the lovely woman who brought me to her) that, given the condition of my internal organs, which had all but shut down, I should not be alive).  What she said to me, was simply that, it is remarkable how a thetan can keep a body walking around!  And, so she set about, through the application of vitamins, nutrition and chinese acupressure to bring me back up the Tone Scale from below Body Death, to within normal range for a Thetan + Body — human being.

Note that neither any Mission, nor any Org, had the slightest thing to do with my recovery.

Nevertheless, for the next or the next 11 or 12 years, I ‘kept the faith’ with the Corporate Church of Scientology, donating money I did not have to become a permanent member of the IAS, crashing my financial stats over and over again on the advice of various FSM’s to the effect that donating every last sou I could muster was a “pro survival act” and that in due course I would ‘magically’ find myself up the Bridge due to my highly “ethical” action of donating.  What I didn’t realize was that my donations certainly were pro-survival, but just not for me.  They were a necessity for that Ponzi Scheme we have come to call the “Church of Scientology”.  For me, it was out-ethics to give away all of my money on the promise that, somehow and eventually, I’d find myself on the Hallowed Ground of Exquisiteness Known As OT VIII.  But, there was NO attempt to find out what MY ethics required of me — which is to have a sound financial basis in place (meaning money in the bank, savings, retirement well funded … more than I need) before donating money and even then, donating only that portion of my finances which would enable me to keep and grow from that stable financial foundation.  (I’m not saying this is, or should be, everyone’s consideration.  But, it was, and is, mine.  And, this was simply ignored and I, in effect allowed myself to be ‘implanted’ (for lack of a better word) with that foreign postulate/valence of being a “Loyal Church Member”

So, over these next 11 or 12 years, I devoted myself to Corporate Scientology in a variety of ways, all of them keeping me in an impecunious state.

For a couple of years I served as a salesman for a well-known “WISE” company, and became, actually, one of the very best salesmen they had ever had.  Of course, I didn’t make enough money to buy myself a reliable used car, have decent clothing or a upstat place to live, much less finance the Million Dollar Bridge.  But, I was proud to know (or believe) that I was “helping Scientology”.  In the end, I left that company at the end of a year in which I had tripled my stats from the year before and my sales alone exceeded $750,000.00.   When I asked for year end bonus, I was told that, unfortunately, the money had been spent.  In actuality, the Owner of the company had bought his Wife a $75,000.00 BMW, and so, could ‘not afford’ to pay proper bonuses.  “So much for rewarding the upstats.”  I thought.  And, I left.

Now, I don’t lay the failings of these two OT VII/VIII WISE Company Owners (Husband and Wife) at the feet of the Church, much less Scientology.  But, I do believe it is indicative of the processes in use by the Church to “produce” OTVII’s and OTVIII’s, that sooooooo many of them seem to be out-ethics, ill-mannered and even criminal.  An OTVII or OTVIII who had his or her Grades in, would not have set up his or her business so that he spent all of its bonus money on his wife’s new car before he budgeted for well-deserved production bonuses.  My opinion.

In any event, for the nine or so years after leaving that company a variety of other things transpired which, looking back on them, I realize were out-tech.  At the time, I believed what I was being told … i.e., that, somehow, my distasteful state of poverty and unhappiness was simply a sign of my own out-ethcis, and if, somehow, I could ‘pull myself up by my bootstraps’ and find $250,000.00, I could save myself.  Now, I realize that this is what an SP will get you to believe:  “It’s  all your fault.”

A scientologist, mind you, will not tell you that, or even intimate it.  A scientologist knows that you got yourself where you are, but a scientologist will actually help you to elevate yourself, (sometimes slowly) get YOUR ethics in and improve YOUR abilities and without requiring you to disconnect from your family, mortgage your life and live in lock-step mindless agreement with the Executives.

So, in 2010, finally, after having been asked to LOOK at what was going on by a couple of friends — neither of whom make the slightest attempt to PERSUADE me to change my (self-effacing) point of view – I changed courses.   Note, my friends did not do what the Corporate Church would have done … cajole me into submission if possible … they did what a scientologist would do.  They just invited me to look.  When I did, finally, look, what I found were people who actually wanted to deliver the Bridge of scientology and dianetics, and were delivering it, come what may: Independent Scientologists.  The difference was breath taking.

In the Corporate Church of Scientology, while I was able to get some training, auditing was kept JUST out of my reach.  Indeed, at one point during my 12 year stint in the Corporate Church of Scientology Haze when my economics were bad, my Corporate Church Power FSM advised me to keep my nose to the grindstone and deposit SOMETHING every week, even if only $25.00 a week, and that, by “putting” that postulate there, I’d be up the Bridge in no time.

This “advice” was utter nonsense, of course, given the fortune required to scale the Corporate Church of Scientology Grade Chart.  In the clear light of the current state of my case (having atttested to Clear, completed all Grades, attested to OT III and currently running well on audited NOTS — all in about 15 months) it is my belief that this Power FSM simply wanted to keep the coffers of the Corporate Church of Scientology full, regardless of whether any individual PC might be well served by doing so.

By contrast, in PT, with Standard Tech from people who actually wanted me to win, it took me a little over the 15 months to go from zero on the Grade Chart (including considerable repair of the Corporate Church of Scientology auditing I did get) to audited NOTS.  And, to top this off, during this same period, my income has increased dramatically and my business has expanded significantly – even in this ‘down market’.

The conclusion I draw from all of this is as follows:  While I could come up with a lot of ‘explanations’ about how it is that — for 12 or 13 years — I scratched and clawed and bit and fought for little or no progress up the Bridge of the Corporate Church of Scientology, the proof is in the pudding.  After finding the Independent Scientologists it took only a little more than a year for me to attest to Clear, finish my Grades, attest to OT III and get well into audited NOTS.  The simplest explanation for this sharp difference in result is that the being knows what the being knows:  My progress up the Grade Chart is directly related to being connected to those who really support my aims and want to help me regain my abilitiees and improve my case … independent Scientologists.

So, I want to thank my amazing, and independent, Scientology auditor and C/S for the wonderful standard, standard, standard, STANDARD delivery.  They have rekindled the knowledge I once had that there is nothing like Standard Tech!

Anyone who decides to align themselves with those who are truly dedicated to delivering the Tech, Standardly, will also, and without a doubt, get the gains Ron promised.  And what is more, in the independent Scientology field, where the auditor can audit as Ron directed — without arbitraries, additives and “now I’m supposed to”s, and the C/S can C/S one’s case standardly, progress is sure, steady and swift, and the cost is modest.

I appreciate your help.



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