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Finding your way after leaving the cult of Scientology

No Longer in Doubt – Old Auditor Goes Public

Easily Confrontable :)

I have been inspired by Marty Rathbun’s recent article Stepping Out of Line to set an example for others who are waiting to go public.

There are more Scientologists going public every day about the abuses they have observed in the Church of Scientology. Some are public, some are staff, and some are Sea Org. Every person who speaks up gives the lie to the claims made by the current church management.

The vital statistics of Scientology auditors made and auditing completions are down and have been down for many years. The only statistic that is rising is empty buildings built as a facade to hide a dying church.

Many public and staff have recognized the lies, but few have had the courage to speak up. The few who have gone public have inspired a growing movement for reformation of scientology technology as in making it available to all who would use it regardless of what the existing church organization attempts to do.

For every Scientologist who has spoke up publicly there are hundreds more who have ventured to comment anonymously on the sites I read daily.  I have remained among this number until today.

Most of us are hung up at Step 6 of the Doubt Formula. We say we are not in Doubt anymore, but we hesitate to announce our disconnection from those who have turned our church into the most oppressive cult in years.

There are tens of thousands more who are not even able to bring themselves to comment on the Internet or to discuss their feelings with close friends or family members. Most of these are not able to admit they are in Doubt for fear that it will come up in session and affect their “eligibility” for further services.

All of the people who are afraid to speak up are PTS and are unable to handle or disconnect. Wow! Were we not trained intensively that being PTS is worse than being terminally stupid? Well, our continuous hang up at Doubt is one sign we are connected to a suppressive and it has paralyzed our ability to think for ourselves.

Perhaps the new church of Miscavige  expects  us to be PTS so that we will meekly follow orders that are counter survival. It certainly has worked on the Int Management people. How long before staff and public voluntarily rout themselves into RPF type projects to show fealty to Dear Leader?

Being PTS means losing your gains, making big mistakes, getting ill and dying. It seems that a lot of that is going around right now within the church of Scientology. Too many OTs are dying of cancer, while others are committing suicide. Some are committing murder, which is not a desirable stat for a church.

Meanwhile, families are sending their members off to Flag for more auditing in the fond hope that they will get gains from the GAT style auditing and heavy sec checks that are currently in vogue at Flag and elsewhere.  Happy thetans going meekly into the meat grinder! What results would you expect for auditing done in a suppressive environment?

I have spoken to my friends who are still on lines and have urged them to read my website and find out what is going on so that they can protect themselves from the suppression in their environment. What I have failed to do is to set a good example by speaking out publicly under my own name.

I have not been in doubt about the church for at least 15 years. I just have failed to complete the Doubt Formula by announcing the fact publicly to all concerned.

I am overdue in this regard because I had already notified various Flag and FSSO personnel that I was quite happy with the services I received years ago but the actions of top management have altered the Church beyond recognition and I saw nothing that would warrant spending more time getting services.

This website contains my observations about the Church of Scientology and its Founder.  I have been as clear as possible about what I have found and what it means. I now need to sign my name to it so all will know what I stand for and what I am supporting in the way of a possible future course of action.

I feel that there is some value in the technology that can be salvaged, but I see little that can be salvaged of the church itself. There are too many lies embodied in the organizational structure and in the purposes which it purports to achieve.

I am dedicated to helping those outside the church who are rekindling failed purposes and hope to contribute to the growth and stability of independent scientology and related subjects.

If there is anything I can do to help someone leave or recover from the suppressive environment of the Church of Scientology, send me an email at [email protected]

I am truly out and will do what I can to help others get out.

David St Lawrence
Grad V, OT VII

aka: Old Auditor

PS: See comment from my wife Gretchen who usually posts under the name Virginia.

Number of views:3938


Fellow Traveller  on February 21st, 2010

Old buddy, I don’t know if I can be the first to acknowledge your decision here, but I do congratulate you for your decision.

You have been a role model for me. I don’t expect to be far behind.


Fellow Traveller  on February 21st, 2010

Now a separate comment regarding the PTS public.

There is notice that SuperPower and OT 9 will be released in 2010 — does DM think I’m crazy and desperate enough to believe I actually want what he’s promising to deliver? Between Helmut’s SP Declare and Plain Old Thetan’s Treason assignment added to the revelations from Marty’s site and it’s contributors, your site here, there is just overwhelming evidence on the state of the CoM.
No thank you, I don’t want what he is offering.

Kirsi  on February 21st, 2010


I am delighted!! I just read your post at Marty´s
and came over here to congratulate you on taking this step. Now the cat´s curiosity is handled, too.

Best wishes in pursuing your precious endeavor.


Tom  on February 22nd, 2010


Thanks for your web site and your integrity. You are an inspiration to us all!

How many Clears have you targeted to make this year?



Virginia  on February 22nd, 2010

I, too am a long-time lurker and looker, having stayed away from the Church for 15 years.

Early on, my wins in Scientology were sensational and it saved my life. Being in a wonderful Mission like Mountain View CA, you were part of a wonderful caring “family”. But, during my first visit to Flag in 1987, I immediately ran up against very abusive, militaristic behavior on the part of staff. The regging was intense and I just wasn’t prepared for that pressure. That increased over time. Fortunately, I moved to LA and was able to get my OT levels there. So, I continued having wonderful auditing and best of all — met my husband David, who was running the South Bay Mission at the time.

After OT V, I knew from some of the weirdness that began to pop up, that I was never going back and never did.

We use the incredible technology in our lives every day, without pressure, regging, phone calls, etc. to make us wrong for not going back.

And so, with my husband, David, I am officially announcing my intention to remain active as an Independent, helping where I can to heal the hurt that others have experienced.

My very best wishes to you all!!

Gretchen (Gilbert) St. Lawrence
[email protected]

OldAuditor  on February 22nd, 2010


I expect to have my hands full helping those whose state of case has been invalidated by the current church of scientology.

My only target is to help as many as I can. There are thousands of individuals who have had their certainty questioned and some have actually been persuaded to “redo” states that they have already attained.

The “Golden Age of Out-Tech” practically guarantees that PCs and OTs will be overrun and under-acknowledged.

I will do whatever it takes to reverse the effects of this criminal abuse.

There is work ahead for every competent auditor. So many wrong indications have been made by the Church of Miscavige that I expect to be busy for the rest of my life.

Thought provoking  on February 22nd, 2010

Hello David! This is good news! I like the photo and the being behind it even more. You have started this “mission” well before many of us, even if under psuedonym. Thank you for keeping the way out open so that others had a safe point to look from. You have been an incredible asset to our Independent community.


Thought provoking  on February 22nd, 2010

I want to take this opportunity to welcome you newly as I know that you really have been an Independent for some time.

I grew up in Mountain View and although I do not recognize your name, I am sure that we know many of the same people. I am glad to see some SFB representatives within these blogs and hope to see more, soon.

Karen LaPorte

lunamoth  on February 22nd, 2010

Old Auditor/David,

Congratulations on the big step, and thank you again for the wonderful site you’ve put here, and the guidance and help you continue to offer those
starting to look for answers outside the church.


dmarie  on February 23rd, 2010

Congrats!!! I feel like the more people who go public the better chance there is to save the best of the tech. People getting better = good. People getting worse = bad. The church has cancer.
If you had one article that is on your site or another free zone site that you think would help someone still in see the light what would it be? I have a dear friend that is still in who I want to email some kind of link to to show her that there is something else.

OldAuditor  on February 23rd, 2010


Maybe you could refer her to one of the early posts where I wrote about the wins we had when Scientology was fun.

That should penetrate the shields carefully erected against “entheta on the Internet”.

Once again, your comment shows how closely we are all linked thetawise as independents!
I have been composing posts to disseminate freedom of choice and what it means to us on the outside.

My next post is tentatively titled, “How do we salvage the good staff members before they succumb to the suppression that exists inside the church?
I will be using Heber Jentszch, Griffee Blythe, and Debbie Cook as examples.

Robert Worstell  on March 1st, 2010


Thanks for this very good post. Good to see your face again.

The old mission network really was the last time Scn was actually living up to its promises. And the last bastion of actual expansion.

There is a whole lot of good in the people who are currently in and earlier left the C of $. It is posts like this which make it more possible for everyone to simply move on with their lives and get out from under the suppression that the Corporate Church has created.

Cheers – and carry on!

Tatiana Baklanova  on March 11th, 2010

Dear David! Thank you for your stepping out of the darkness of hiding into the light of truth! :) It is a great pleasure to know you are not hiding your identity any more. I hope there will be others to follow your example.

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